Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're my little dorito
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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