...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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