Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
