Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
