I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
