Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
