So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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