my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The Olympian is in my bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
