If that was your dad, he is hot
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
