It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Everyone says I win the strip club
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
