...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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