This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
