Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I AM VODKA MAN
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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