bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
