But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
