remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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