what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
