so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need to align my fucking chakras
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
