I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
