3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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