His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
