But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
