So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
