Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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