dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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