dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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