What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
