His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
