But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize