He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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