That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
