yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
