I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
