I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
