I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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