I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
