if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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