I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
