She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
