Nicole vs. Life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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