He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
