Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
