Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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