Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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