My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
