So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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