Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
