it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
