Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
