woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
