I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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