The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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