OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
