i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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