So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
