what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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