Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
