people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
